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"Liar, liar, pants on fire!!!"
foul called in Nina team debacle
Updated
01/04/2014 11:23 PM.
"Foul!" has
been cried in the latest GolfPrick three-ball golf competition, which
took place last Saturday at cold and overcast Templegusta.
With
controversy still raging from a previous three-ball event where the
"best team on paper" consisting of EZ, Budreaux, and Ralph Squirrels,
took a brutal
 beating
from teams claiming to be inferior, Saturday's "worst team on the
planet" (Hank, Barfly, now also known as "Barf", and team organizer
Nina) took an even worse beating at the hands of KA, and the
revenge-seeking Budreaux and Ralph Squirrels. To make matters
worse, team captain Nina suggested "wheeling" two-man bets on the first
tee, to which all agreed, and their fate was sealed.
 After
18 holes in dark, dank, and dingy conditions with no sun,
cold winds, and spitting rain, the cards were read and the whining and
weeping began. Nina and his boys had lost every two-man bet they
made and were soundly thrashed in the three-ball match by what may be a
record score of 22 to 3. Thank God for the mercy rule.
 But
that was not the end of it. After the match, one of Nina's
teammates, a newby to the group who was unaccustomed to the deceit and
treachery GolfPricks have been known to stoop to in the past, claimed to
be misled by KA on the course which prompted him to "let up" on the back
nine of the match.
While standing on the 13th tee as Nina's team
approached the #12 green, KA interjected into the conversation that he
"would be happy to break a hundred." Little did they know that KA
had shot 1-under on the front side and was still at 1-under or at worst
even par going into 13.
In
correspondence to the organization a few days following the match, Hank,
an honest and admirable guy whose character and integrity is far above
the rest of this group and will be assaulted from all sides by his
newfound "friends", and who is beginning to understand the shenanigans GolfPricks will engage in to seek a competitive advantage, called a
penalty on KA for intentionally lying (different from unintentionally
lying) on the golf course and also admirably called a penalty on himself for
allowing himself to be taken in. The matter is now before the
rules committee and awaiting comment regarding possible fines and
penalty strokes from the Czar.
Sources close
to the Czar, who is also under scrutiny by the rules committee for
repeated absenteeism, released this statement: "It's
very foolish to let yourself be fooled by one of these fools. It
can cost you money. And he should always remember, 'If you get
fooled once, shame on the fooler. If you get fooled again, then shit on you, the foolee.
Bottom line is he should never believe anything any one of us says,
never let Nina be on his team, and should really just fucking play better.' "
Happy New
Year,
Pricks!
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