The infamous "Madame Wanda", a medusa-like mythical golf-goddess and constant companion and administrator of karmic consequences of the world-renowned GolfPrick Golf Association, reared her ugly face once again during Saturday's round, and none other than the ill-fated but beloved Eazy was the benefactor of one of her all-time greatest ever dispensations of cow-pasture pool injustice.

Two threesomes and a foursome gathered for a cooler-than-normal-lately Saturday afternoon leisurely stroll around the once-picturesque now-pan-fried Templegusta golf course.  The commissioner had established three teams through his normal random, off-the-top-of-his-head-out-of-his-arse selection process consisting of Eazy, Ralph Squirrels, and Little Boy in the lead group, Big Boy, Budreaux and Coach Denny in the second, and the straggler foursome of Paulie (aka "Ace" and now also affectionately known as "Sharty"), Kardo, Haydie, and the king-of-the-club-kick and latest cardiac-kid of the group, KA.

The Eazy group started with routine pars on the par-5 19th, but then the round suddenly got very interesting as Eazy proceeded to roll in a 15-foot "poley" birdie on the par 3 20th, a 12-inch tap-in birdie on the par-4 21st, and another 15-footer on the par-4 22nd for his third consecutive tweet-tweet of the day

Eazy then encountered some tree-trouble off the tee on the 23rd and collected his first bogey of the day but the team birdie string remained intact as Little Boy knocked his approach shot within a foot for a tap-in tweeter for him.  Eazy then missed a makeable 15-foot birdie putt on the par-5 24th, bogeyed 25 and 26 and then made a miracle par from the "dead-pan" on the crusty 27th for a sterling even-par 36 for the front nine.

After missing another very makeable six-footer for birdie on #1 of the back-nine front-side, the round was rather uneventful for the chirpster with some routine pars and a couple of bogeys leading into the par-3 7th, where the lurking Madame Wanda awaited.

This is where Eazy, who had been striking his iron-shots crisply and on-target all day, smoothed an "eazy" draw five-iron to a back-left pin location within 6-inches of the cup.  Upon arrival at the green, Eazy tapped in his potential double-scat birdie and marked his for-certain greenie with a tee and a hand-written note specifically for his number-1 nemesis Big Boy, who was waiting on the #7 tee.  As he was placing his "Up your ass, Big Boy" note six-inches from the hole, his astute playing partner, Ralph Squirrels warned of the potential awakening of Madame Wanda by stating, "One of these guys could knock it in the hole."  Eazy replied, "if somebody makes a hole-in-one they deserve it."

To make a long story even longer, the round had slowed to the point where Group 1 was able to watch Big Boy's group's approaches to the par-3.  Two of the three shots found the green but nowhere near Eazy's six-incher and, even though Big Boy's 30-foot putt grazed the hole, the now six-some left the green with Eazy's double-scat seemingly intact.

As Eazy teed up his ball on the par-5 8th, he made the statement that he had played 34 holes with the same ball and showed his propensity for being able to call his bad shots by saying, "This ball is destined for the water."  And that's exactly where it wound up, pushed to the right but only half submerged in the very edge of the pond aligning the #8 fairway. It was "Showtime."

By this time, the Paulie-Kardo group had reached the #7 tee, but had dropped back one group as honorary GolfPrickette, Proshop Sallie, and her playing partner had been able to slip in between GolPrick groups two and three.  As they played the adjoining par-3 7th, discovering Eazy's marked greenie, and Group 3 waited on the tee, Group 1's focus was on Eazy removing his shoe in preparation for playing his ball from the water on the the par-5 8th.  He was able to advance his ball into the fairway for a long third shot shot which wound up short of the green.

He wasn't able to convert an up-and-down for par, incurring his 3rd bogey of the back-nine, but parred the par-4 9th for his back-nine of 38, giving him a 2-over 74 for the day and a potential 2-greenie/4-birdie/6-scat collection day at the pay window.  Little did he know the fate Madame Wanda had waiting for him in the clubhouse.

As Groups 1 and 2 loaded their cars in the parking lot, Proshop Sallie and her playing partner arrived prompting Eazy to ask, "Did you see my note on #7?"  Sallie acknowledged seeing the note but added, much to Eazy's chagrin, that she thought Paulie had birdied #7 also because "they were all high-fiving him."

As the groups gathered for their usual settling-up-cackle-fest, the discussion centered around Eazy's great shot on #7 and his note to Big Boy and "Sharty" cutting him out of his birdie scat.  Kardo and KA sat straight-faced awaiting Paulie's arrival and the pending verbal assault from Eazy.

As the cackling continues, Paulie arrives and realizes everybody's talking about #7.  At some point, Paulie innocently says "I didn't even see it go in."  Thinking he's talking about a birdie, Ralph Squirrels says, "Where were you chipping from."  A hush falls over the group as Paulie says, "I was on the tee box, it was a hole-in-one."

If the air wasn't already out of Eazy's balloon, he was now as deflated as the Hindenburg.  With scats equaling $20 each, he's gone from $40 up to $40 down on one hole in a span of about 2 minutes.  Big Boy, The Large One, for whom Eazy left the note and who takes an almost sadistic satisfaction in seeing Eazy suffer, was especially delighted at Eazy's misfortune. 

It was even suggested that, the way way Madame Wanda works, it is very possible that Paulie's ball hit Eazy's greenie marker and ricocheted into the hole.  Even if it didn't, that is the way this story will probably always be told from this point forward.

Congratulations, "Ace."  Thanks for the drinks.