GolfPricks Thursday Afternoon Outing
Produces Eazy Event Rivaling All-time Best
Sets new standard for multiple club-breaking methodology

According to eyewitness accounts of  the Thursday, Aug. 12, GolfPrick outing, an event took place on the hot, sultry, 100-degree Deercrest nine at picturesque Temple Hills never-before-seen by many golfers or spectators of the sport.

The threesome of the Colonel, Paulie, and Eazy, considered a very formidable team on most days, teed off on the lovely Goat Ranch nine of Templegusta as the sun baked down on the pan-fried landscape.  The normally accurate Eazy proceeded to pull-hook his first drive across Temple Road and into the swimming pool area and his partners knew then that they might be in for a very interesting-but-unpleasant afternoon.  However, the front-nine proceeded rather uneventfully as the stage was set for the spectacle that was about to occur on the Deercrest front-nine back-nine.

After a routine first hole, the threesome drove down the #2, Par-5 fairway in good order and proceeded through their second shots which left them in good third-shot approach positions.  Eazy was roughly 128-yards from the hole and chose his trusty 9-iron which would surely put him in his usual birdie position.  With a little bit of a downhill lie, however, the descent was just a bit steep which promoted a ground-before-ball strike producing a bit of "fattage" and a divot the size of a cowpie.  The ball sailed woefully short and into the muddy-creek-ditch-moat surrounding the elevated #2 green.

As we have all seen many times, what came next was a slight Eazy-hissy-fit where he whacks the side of his golf bag with the butt-end of the guilty 9-iron, jumps in the cart and proceeds down to the ditch to find a muddy, unplayable, fourth shot.  His partners watch as he drops outside the ditch and, now laying four, he semi-skulls his fifth shot over the green, jumps back in the cart, and zooms to a screeching halt on the cart path above the putting surface.  He then proceeds to run his sixth shot onto the green and reaches for his putter.

Much to his partners amazement and without a word, Eazy jumps back into the cart and zooms back down the cart path and back to the scene of his third shot debacle-turned -temper-tantrum in the #2 fairway.  As the Colonel and Paulie watch in awe, Eazy picks up what is now known to be a two-piece putter which was broken and dislodged from the outside-the-bag putter holder by the bag-whack.  As he drives back up the cart path to the green, the handle end half shaft of the ill-fated tool was hurled violently into the woods.  With a lengthy putt for a seven, the Colonel has mercifully picked up Eazy's ball and conceded the putt, as he and Paulie proceed to putt out, not knowing for sure exactly what the broken club Eazy had retrieved from the fairway was.

Still without a word, the threesome hit their tee shots on the #3, Par-3.   As the group approaches their balls on the green, it appears that Eazy is preparing to putt with something other than a putter.  With the Colonel and his left-handed putting style, Eazy's only borrowed putter option is Paulie and he sheepishly asks, "Can I use your putter?"  And as they walk from the #3 green, it seems as maybe the dust has settled and the air has cleared and a semblance of normalcy has returned to the round.  Little did they know.

Now the group rides up to the par-4 #4 tee box and everybody steps out of their carts and reaches for their drivers.  As Eazy's comes out of his bag, much to the amazement of the surprised group, Eazy is standing there holding just the head and half the shaft of his TaylorMade Superfast.  Now, it's apparent to all that Eazy has broken the two most important clubs in his bag, without throwing a club or snapping one over his knee, with one fatal swoop.

His playing partners were quietly merciful for the rest of the round but the gathering afterwards was a different story.  Bets were settled amid discussion and controversy surrounding penalties for playing with borrowed clubs.

For future reference, rule 4-4a of the USGA rules setting the maximum of 14 clubs stipulates that "the player must not add or borrow any club selected for play by any other person playing on the course."  There is a two-stroke or two hole penalty for breach of the Rule 4-4a but with a maximum penalty of four strokes and two holes per round.

Needless to say, this had to be one of the all-time Eazy events, as well as an all-time GolfPrick event, in general.  The kicker being that the shaft replacement on the driver was quoted at $104 while the sale sticker on a new TaylorMade just like it read $99.

KA CCGA Update
(From staff reports) - Another important GolfPrick "event" has come to light and, in all fairness to EZ, deserves a dishonorable mention.

The now infamous at McCabe Golf Course KA had an incident in the final round of the Capital City Golf Association tournament that may qualify him for the "Fatherly Example Of The Year Award" as he and both of his very well-behaved sons participated.

KA proceeded to set a wonderful "That's my dad" example by breaking three clubs, that's right, three (3) clubs, WD'd and walked off the course.  Reports are, however, that he did take first-place in the tournament's first and only golf club "Punt, Pass, and Kick" contest.  Way to go, Dad.

CORRECTION - This just in from eyewitness accounts:
"The old man broke 2 sand wedges on the Thursday afternoon round, and his driver on the first 9 of the final round, forcing a WD (though he did retrieve a 2nd driver from his trunk so he could play the final nine with us).

"Of course, each occurrence was a "freak accident" and "9 times out of 10" the clubs don't break in those situations. Using his own ratio and logic ... the clubs were probably several rounds overdue.

"My question is: who carries 2 sand wedges in their bag and keeps a spare driver in their car? How often does a club break during normal course of play? I think I've only seen it once to twice in my life (and never from someone with his swing speed). This points me to premeditation. As an eyewitness, I would look to prosecute under first-degree club homicide.

"I don't remember his or Brandon's scores. All I know is that I won." - source not revealed for his own protection

Editor's Note: The elder KA has notified us that "walking off the course didn't happen," and that the breaks were actually over a 2-day period and that the clubs must have been in a weakened condition "with circumstances causing initial 2 snaps."  We regret the error and stand corrected.